You see, I’ve always been a sucker for Chosen One narratives. But maybe this essay is about my book after all, because when I first started writing the novel back in 2013, I was pondering all the things people choose, and all the things that choose us.

It’s my job to promote this book and I can’t, not the way I want to, not the way I’d choose to. Like signings and school visits and conferences and bookstore appearances, and writing essays not about cancer. And suddenly there were and are a lot of things I won’t be able to do for a while. It overshadows birthdays and book releases and every other thing until there’s not much you can do but sit in front of the TV stress-eating that ginormous bag of Pirate’s Booty until you can pull the empty bag over your head and hope it all goes away. But when you get a cancer diagnosis-even when your prognosis is good, as mine is-it’s pretty much all you can think about. How I came up with my vision of an alternate New York City. I had all sorts of ideas about what I wanted to discuss. I’ve been planning to write this essay for quite a while, in anticipation of the release of YORK: The Shadow Cipher. A few weeks before the publication of my latest book and just in time for my birthday, I got a bouquet of my favorite lilies, a spa gift certificate, various cat- and fox-themed T-shirts, an industrial-sized bag of Pirate’s Booty, and breast cancer.

Bad apple by laura ruby